We offer most of the good things provided by the Catholic Church and none of the bad. We offer you a liturgy not dissimilar to that with which you are familiar. You may have as many tinkling bells as you wish, as much incense, as many fancy vestments, and a weekly confession.
No introductory seminars!
No new baptisms!
Only your name, address and credit card number!
Subscriptions: High Days and Saints Days £249.50 p.a
Annual subscriptions: £999.50
Tickets and subscriptions may be purchased at the church wicket gate, or from Amazon.com
∗ Roman Catholics, open to the threat of eternal damnation for stinginess, are understood to be more generous than C of E church attendees, who are notoriously old and parsimonious. The special offer is made on the understanding that the average donation at each Sunday service is $50 (VISA accepted). This 50%-off offer is extended until 31 May 2011. This will get us out of a temporary cash flow problem.
6 April 2010