This form should only be used for customers using Versions QRO234 and THO 7890. Customers using Version 6.2222.95 should download additional software, which is now discontinued.
Please answer all questions. Failure to do so will mean that, after you fail to get an answer to this email, you will be cut off after waiting on the line for the obligatory 15 minutes, to allow our only phone associate in Bangalore to finish his chapattis.
If you would like a British peerage, contact our sister website www.tonyblair.com Credit cards accepted.
Name you would have been called if mother had had her way:
Name you would like our staff to use while speaking to you:
If you would prefer to be addressed as “Mr.”, contact our geriatric unit www.pompoustwit.org Pseudonym:
If you are in jail let us know where the cash is. For encryption go to www.compuware.com/products.
Are you in a relationship?:
If not, would you like to be in a relationship?:
Send email to firstname.lastname@example.org and attach photo. Hi!
Ipod serial number:
Zip code (include 4 digit extension):
Name your late aunt´s lover:
Are you bored with Madonna?:
Inside leg measurement:
Who won the 200 meters at the Berlin Olympics in 1938:
Do you prefer: 1. Tea 2. Coffee .
Number of tires on your car:
Who is the President of the United States?:
Who should be President of the United States?:
If your answer is Al Gore, you have just won a free three-week trip to the Gaza Strip.
(to be found on the original floppy disk supplied with the product. Computers are now being supplied without floppy disk drives, but we are not responsible for this development.
(This can be found with the supporting literature you received when you first purchased the product. If you no longer it, there is little we can do for you.
Delivery note number:
(Sent when the original floppy disk was delivered between 1990 and 2000. In the event that you no longer have this note, contact your favorite carrier)
Registration Certificate Number:
(We need customers to register so that we can ask them what color their living room walls are, where they buy their air fresheners, and what they think of Uruguay. We then sell this information to market research companies and security firms for individual profile building.
In order to serve you better, a charge is made for advice on making our product work. There might be a slight discrepancy between the amount shown on your credit card statement and the amount shown in the total box. This is due to the fact that the former Programming Department is skimming a commission off the top of the remittance. There isn´t a lot we can do about this because we fired the in-house programmers and outsourced website support. Now there is no one who knows how to change the software.
We regret that our support staff speak only Dutch:
De Klantenondersteuning is beschikbaar tussen de uren of 12 p.m. en 3 a.m. Centrale Vreedzame tijd op Maandagen, Woensdagen en Vrijdagen, op alternatieve maanden. Het vergt normaal drie dagen om te antwoorden. Dit staat ons toe om een antwoord omhoog te denken of vorige antwoorden onder al troep in het bureau te vinden. Wij zullen ons uiterste u doen bijstaan door de verkeerde vraag te beantwoorden. Dit zal van u een tweede e-mail vereisen die dit aanwijst en een intelligentere reactie eist. Wij zijn slechts menselijk.