Odysseus, who came from Ithaca, sited next door,
Found Kefalonia rather a bore.
No dragons, no beasties, no Charybdis or Scyllas,
Just a load of young Brits drinking beer in their villas.
From the earliest moment when he was a boy
He wanted adventures, like leveling Troy.
But although of excitements he had quite a lot,
He seemed to ignore this particular spot.

The people are friendly, the climate sublime,
The countryside scented with sage and with thyme.
The olives are ancient, the beaches are sandy,
The food is so-so, but the markets are handy.
But except for Corelli and his mandolin,
There is little to stimulate adrenaline.
It's an excellent place to just lie in the sun,
But nothing occurs there, when all's said and done.

No, history's passed by this particular isle - -
A backwater now, as it's been for a while.
Top Romans arrived, found the island quite pleasant,
But generally gave it away as a present.
The Venetians came by and proved rather a menace,
But the wine wasn't good, so they went back to Venice.
The odd conqueror conquered, but quickly departed;
The British came too but were rather half-hearted.

No sign of a palace of mythical kings,
No civilizations or mystical springs,
No rivers to hell and no acropoli
To attract foreign visitors happening by.
The hire cars are hired, but most sit in the sun,
For where would they go if they went for a run?
No wonder the Italians and British all choose
The beach and the poolside, banter and booze.

August 2007